Face it, men possess and even mildly exhibit a very pessimist attitude towards commitment and marriage. The word “marriage” is big wild boar, which makes their souls jump out of their body with fear and apprehension. Somehow, the fault lies in the faulty society we live in which gives rise to such an attitude. Marriage can be the sweetest thing ever happened to a man but then, why do men look at it as a disastrous event? It is because society has painted this grim and gruesome little picture of a man’s life typically got ruined because he got married!
So you see, this scene makes a dominant fix on the man’s mind which is one of the reasons why men stay away from commitment.
Men and women want different things in life. Though both experience an almost equal number of emotions, they express them in different ways. Though equal, they are different from each other with different priorities set for life. It is for this reason that marriage for a woman means love, family, blissfulness, security, happiness, companionship, closeness, etc. but on the other hand For men, along with some of these, marriage also means less freedom and less free-spiritedness, added expenses and added stress, increased pressure, never ending demands and expectancies which are even justified to a certain extent.
Therefore, what needs to be done in this kind of a situation is find out if you are one of his top three priorities of his life. You do this by asking him straightforwardly in a light and playful mood preferably when you both have just finished watching T.V or when you both are out having a light meal together, or when you are having an evening walk together. However, caution: Do not ask him this in a serious tone but in a light and casual one. Also, do not ask him this right out of the blue. Make up a quick brainstorming quiz you both can play where you ask him fun questions like, “What would you do if you got stuck on a deserted island with an ugly looking gay?” Alternatively, “If a genie granted you only one wish, what would it be?” Then comes your “What would be your top three priorities in life?” Demand a serious answer for this one and if you are one of his three, you should go ahead.
Your next step is to find out more about how he feels about your relationship… Do not ask a question, which demands a complicated or intense reply like the famous and unnerving, “So, where is this relationship going?” Instead of this, break up the complicated reply bound question into smaller and simpler ones which can be processed easily by the male brain. Ask yes or no type questions like, “Are you happy with the way our relationship is continuing?” “Do you wish there was some improvement in anything?” Do not ask ‘what’ or ‘how’. Just pre-decide the questions you want to ask keeping in mind that answering then should be easy for him and not overwhelming!
Now if here you have received a positive outcome, you should be content because you both are on the right track.
Now all you have to do is be pleasant and easy to be with. Do not scare him away by asking for too much of his time or posing almost impossible demands. It is true that women need to be with their partners for a fair amount of time. Let him know this in a subtle way. If he is okay with that then you have nothing to worry about. Nevertheless, you must understand that men are relatively more free-spirited in nature than woman are and often feel a need to have “space.” So before he gives you the insulting “I need space” slap on your face, give him some yourself! However, you must know when you must be there for him when he is in need of you and your support, more over you have to try to understand him better. Be a source of encouragement for him especially when he is down, men really expect that. Make him feel good about himself. This way, he will want to be with you more and more.
Make him meet your friends or relatives who are happily married and let him spend time with them and see for him self how happy a woman and especially a man can be after marriage.
Do not undergo metamorphosis to be with him. Just be the woman for whom he will happily accept the added expenses, increased pressure and loss of free-spiritedness…
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